Sava was really tired a couple of nights ago. Rado chastised him for doing (or not doing) something, to which Sava replied by saying, "No! Don't say those words. If you say those words, I'll kick you out of the house." Rado was shaken to hear him speak like that, so when I came down for dinner I initiated a conversation with Sava that went way beyond anything we could have anticipated. Following is an approximate transcript of it, which we reconstructed from our collective memories a few hours later; "We" is either Rado or me since we can't remember who said what exactly. The "new school" Sava talks about is a combined notion of the new "classroom" in the Children's Corner where he'll be going next year as a four-year old, and kindergarten/first grade, which we have been introducing to him as something to think about happening in the distant future. He has serious anxiety about both, and it surfaces at odd moments.
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We: Sava, why did you say such a thing to daddy?
Sava: Because I don't like him to say those words.
We: But have you ever heard us say to you that we will kick you out of the house?
Sava: No, but...
We: And how would you feel if we told you such a thing?
Sava: I'll run away.
We; Where will you run away?
Sava: I'll run away to the city.
We: You'll run away to the city? And what will you do there? Who will you live with?
Sava: I'll live with some other people, where you can't catch me.
We: But why would you want to live with other people?
Sava: Because I won't like you to kick me out of the house.
We: We are not going to kick you out of the house. We would never say or do such a thing. That's why we asked you why you said it to tati. It made him sad to hear you say it.
(Hug)
Sava: Life is hard for me.
We: Why is life hard for you?
Sava: Because I don't want to go to the new school. I want to stay at the old school.
We: But if you stay at the old school there will be new children there. All of your friends will not be there.
Sava: I'll run away from the new school back to my old room.
(More talk about school--which friends will be there, what they will do, etc.)
Tati: We would never kick you out of the house and we would never want to make you sad...If you don't like being sad, why would you want to make me sad?
Mom: Would you want to make tati sad?
Sava: Not always...just sometimes.
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Especially puzzling aspects of this conversation include the notions of "kicking someone out" and "running away." Those are not things we have ever mentioned at home, except for reading multiple times The Runaway Bunny with him about two years ago, which he could not possibly remember. As with ideas of "shooting," "knocking down," and "fighting," which he gets from a boy in his school who watches Star Trek, we suspect that "kicking out" and "running away" are collateral damage from the mornings spent at school. It's but a glimpse of the sort of outsize influence peers are going to have on him as he spends increasingly more time at school. Our little boy is becoming a social being. And we hope that he won't be running away in the next dozen years or so.
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