As time goes by

Life has been crazy over here. I'll have to give an executive summary for now.

I am a big brother. Of sorts. My cousin, Velin, was born 9/11. I saw him on webcam and he looked cute and peaceful. His sister is perfect, so I hope he turns out at least something of a troublemaker. It would be a pity for my aunt and uncle to have two perfect children. The joys they'll miss on are simply countless.

My mom took me to the GI doctor last Tuesday. He put his finger in my butt. Holey moley. I didn't like it one bit and pooped all over his white coat. He shouldn't have gone there, ever.

I had a mild ear infection last weekend. I slept on my left side for a while, and that probably did something to my eardrum.

For the past week or so, I've discovered the joys of sleeping on my tummy. My parents freak out when they see me do it. At first, one of them would try to turn me back. I'd get upset and throw a fit. They would try again and I would cry again. Now they no longer even try. I sleep on my back both for naps and nightsleep. The only problem is, I often lie on my arm and when I wake up it's gone to sleep. So I cry and wait for help. Mom or dad are always quick to come. I don't think they like to listen to me crying. I can get pretty loud.

As if I don't go to the doctor often enough, yesterday they took me to the hospital to get blood drawn. It was the most stressful single day of my entire life. Four women in white coats kept trying to find my vein. They poked me four times and were barely able to draw enough. My mom and one of the women held me down; I looked at mom a couple of times, and she seemed in worse shape than I was. Daddy, who was watching the whole thing and trying to comfort mommy, had turned white as sheet. If they knew it was going to be this stressful, why in the world did they ever take me in? Parents.

Then in the afternoon, when I had finally managed to get a good nap, I woke up to find my mom stripping me to bare butt. They put me on a white plastic sheet, gave me a bottle of mommy milk, and waited for me to poop. My dad gathered the poop with what looked like an ice-cream scoop and put the poop in little jars. Then mommy disappeared with the jars. While the two of them fumbled, I stood there, butt smeared in poop, and waited for someone to clean me up. They looked amused, but I was in no mood to find things funny.

Today I took a three-hour long nap. It was nice, after a gruelling morning of grocery shopping. There is a limit to how much time a small person like me can spend looking at fruits and veggies. I don't think that my parents understand that. They always manage to tire me with shopping.