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| the Baylands at Shoreline on a morning run |
Earlier this week, I read one of the more powerful pieces of writing I've encountered in a very long time. A commencement speech by Jonathan Franzen, presented at Kenyon College and excerpted in the
New York Times under the title
Liking is for Cowards. Go for What Hurts has apparently been the target of intense anger and angst by tech bloggers, who object to Franzen's anti-technological-gadgetry rhetoric.
I'd hate to spoil the essay for any of you curious to read it yourself (and you all
should be curious), but suffice it to say that it renewed much of my latent anxiety about the prospect of raising kids in a world troubled by what Franzen terms "techno-consumerism." While the essay brought into stark relief all of the reasons why smart phones, apps, games, and Facebook trouble me, Franzen's thoughtful response to the narcissism cultivated by modern technology also buoyed me up in the hope that we may not be alone in wanting to shield our kids from much of it--at least for now.
I adopted a smart phone during the first year of Raya's life, which at the time seemed as the only way to stay sane while nursing her, especially around the middle of her first year, when she fed only while sleeping, which left me with virtually no time to myself. I started by reading the
New York Times "cover to cover," as well as frequenting a couple of "reflux boards," where I found both advice and comfort in the hard journey that was infant reflux. As the year progressed and I nursed Raya less and less, I found myself using the smart phone more and more. To make a long and tedious story short, I realized after we stopped nursing that I had become addicted to the blasted thing.
Nothing vital to life went on inside the phone, and yet I seemed to feel compelled to check the news, or email, or blogs at times when I could have been resting, or reading a book, or paying attention to my kids--
just because it was so easy to do all those things. I gave up the phone a few months ago, and found almost immediately that my focus on life sharpened, my attention span widened, and I became far more appreciative of moments that otherwise might have slipped by.
So, Franzen's arguments make a lot of sense, even though I have never clapped eyes on Facebook and have zero acquaintance with the iPad and its kin. I do love my Kindle, and obviously enjoy my camera as it helps to shape this here space which my nearest and dearest then get to see, but that is as far as my participation in the world of techno-consumerism goes...which is precisely why I dread having to guide my kids through the maze of devices, social networks, computer games, and "smart" applications that they will inevitably encounter with predictable innocence and curiosity.
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| unwinding from school with legos--every single day |
The hope is that as they grow up, their own interests and inclinations will help us figure out what to introduce when and how. Replacing the TV with a reading couch works now that they are one and five, but may not be so easy when they are ten and fourteen. Insisting that the computer is only for reading the news or sending the occasional email message to friends may work as an explanation now, but may not pass muster when Sava begins to learn about computers from his friends. It's all work in flux and, as with everything else in parenting, patience, humility, and
some hard-core values will--we hope--help.
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In the meantime, in news this week...
Sava chose a trip to the Bay Area children's museum as our Sunday activity today. It was foggy and windy, much as expected, but neither kid seemed to notice the surrounding grayness. That someone thought of building a children's space at the foot of Golden Gate does not cease to blow my mind away.
I took a lot of bad pictures in the difficult light. This whole photographing business is a most humbling experience.
And because Sava preferred his dad, as usual, my modeling victim, as all week, was Raya. I did capture this oh-so-typical pensive look; what in the world could he be thinking?--
Sista built,
played music,
and painted,
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| speaking Bulgarian to a stranger, and then giving him a surprised look when he does not seem to understand |
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Have I mentioned that she is a climber? With no sense of danger, no concept of herself in space.
Surprisingly, though, she wasn't much intrigued by the sprinklers on a hot day, and instead watched and collected water in a bucket--quite unlike herself:
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Excuse the redundant helmet-on-scooter photos; so hard to resist--
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Like her brother, though in very different ways, she also is intense--
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Our dearest friend became a big sister this week, and we got to spend some alone time with her; they should be called Busybodies, not Toddlers--
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Sibling moments--
Paint in a muffin tin? Brilliant. She gets to mix her colors as much as she wants to, and he gets to keep his colors pristine, as he dabs his brush carefully in each cup, then rinses it off, before he dips it in another.
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And favorite pics of the week? Dad. He radiates calmness, even when he is tired as a dog.
Happy new week, everyone.
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